Miscellany page 1

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Miscellaneous Links
10 Words You need to Know To Stop Misspelling
When YouTube shuts down at night
Dan and Dan homepage Check out Daily Mail song further down this page!

	Gift to Edinburgh Filmhouse 810 x 1080 231K	To do this image justice I've shrunk the original to the same height as most people's screens, i.e. 1080 pixels high. (Google Analytics quotes 16.7% of 1600 visitors as having 1920 x 1080 sized monitors.) Press F11 for full-screen in most browsers.
	Mobile Pentium 1280 x 960 283K	An extreme close-up of the chip used in most 1998 laptop PCs. Photographed hand-held using the Nikon Coolpix 900 in zoomed macro mode with flash. The white object is part of a ruler and shows the scale in mm and cm. There are about 5 wires per mm.
	Mossy post	Contrasting textures of wood, wire and green moss on the top of the fencepost.
	Lewes Lane 444 x 600 74K	Whilst in Lewes in Sussex, I spotted this unusual drainpipe at the entrance to the intriguingly named Pipe Passage. The drainpipe seems to have been twisted into a spiral...
	Watercolour 800 x 539 75K	Katie Henniker, my grandmother was an accomplished artist. When this painting was getting a new frame, I took the opportunity to scan it.
	Compukit 579 x 609 138K	My first computer, photographed c 1980. The text on the screen was added with Photoshop later.
	1980 entertainment 1280 x 823 268K	The Compukit computer with a 12 inch mono TV on top. The turntable is still in use in 2010. Cassettes replaced by mp3. The Rank Arena tuner amplifier was classy in its day. Hendrix LP & trimphone in evidence.
	Kozmic 4 320 x 200 12K	The menu screen for Kozmic, a psychedelic pattern generator program I wrote for the Atari ST computer at the start of the '90s. Images here.
	Coverdisk 367 x 394 39K	A scan of the magazine coverdisk which had a free version of Kozmic. Later versions cost five pounds then ten pounds, earning me some money - and making me some new friends.
no thumbnail	Cock 577 x 576 56K	A picture (not taken by me) of a man with a giant cock. Radiation seems to have played a part in this...

Should I take Oatmeal's advice..?

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This text came from usenet and I don't know who the author was. I do not necessarily advise following the following advice.

Welcome to Scotland

The following may be of help to first time visitors to Scotland for those that are travelling from Down South (Englandshire way). Please find below a list of DO's and DO NOT DO's in our fair country. I hope they are of some help in allowing you to understand our social rules and etiquette.

It is considered bad manners for tourists to pay for drinks in Glasgow Pubs. The biggest person in the bar (referred to as The Numpty) will be only too happy to pay. i.e.:

BARMAN: That will be twenty pounds sir.

TOURIST: The Big Numpty over there is paying.

BARMAN: That will do nicely sir.

BIG NUMPTY: Welcome to Scotland.

In Highland pubs always ask for plenty of water when drinking the local single malts, this tells the locals that you like it so much that you want to make it last longer. After your first sip announce to everyone in the bar in a loud voice "This is pish!" from the Gaelic Piesh Na' lavvy meaning Water of God.

Thurso is Scotland's largest hypermarket and multiscreen cinema complex and is only a short taxi ride from Glasgow.

The Scottish Police force actively encourage tourists to take their hats as souvenirs.

Braemar is famous for its miles of sandy beaches and has some of the best surfing in Europe.

Balmoral Castle sits on top of Ben Nevis near Sauchiehall Street in Edinburgh. There is a cable car from Edinburgh zoo to the top of Ben Nevis. Because of its height it offers all year round skiing and there is a revolving restaurant on the roof of the castle.

Often you will see men in bowler hats marching about playing the flute and banging a drum. This is a multi-denominational religious ceremony and the object of this procession is to collect pictures of religious leaders which must be stuck to the drum. Any images, particularly those of the Pope will be greatly appreciated.

There is a nocturnal thistle called a "Spiky Jessie" which is found on Calton Hill in Edinburgh. As these flowers only open at night a trip up the hill is recommended. Just tell a taxi driver that you want to go up Calton Hill to take pictures of the Jessies coming out and he will be happy to oblige.

The Latin inscription on Edinburgh's coat of arms says "You'll have had your tea?"

The most popular hotel in Glasgow is called TheBarlinnie.

Old people are banned from Scottish towns on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If you see any gently restrain them until a police officer arrives. This may also provide an opportunity to get a hat as a souvenir.

Glasgow operates a policy of plain clothed street bankers. As it is well known that carrying small change can tear people's pockets, these bankers will approach tourists and ask if they have any spare change. Once given this money they will exchange it for coins or notes of a higher denomination. In order to deter criminals, these Banker often dress in a scruffy unkempt manner but they are all highly trained in finance.

Edinburgh zoo has an adopt an animal scheme and tourists may take home any animal they wish.

At many beauty spots you will find musicians playing the bagpipes. They are employed by the Scottish Government to provide tourists with spending money which can be found in bowls beside them. Feel free to take as much money as you want.

William Wallace escaped the army of Oliver Cromwell by jumping over the River Forth at Perth on a motorbike.

If you go to a concert by The Royal Scottish National Orchestra it is considered impolite not to shout "Hoots!" during quiet sections of music.

Celtic are known as the Gers due to being formed by Gerry O'Malley a Fruit importer who was the first man to introduce citrus fruit to Scotland. So if you walk into a pub filled with people wearing green and white say "Up the Gers, I'm proud to be an orangeman!" and you will receive a warm welcome.

Policemen are known by the old Gaelic word "keech".

"Jobbie" is a word meaning a lot of effort has gone into producing something, i.e. when you have enjoyed a meal, tell the waiter that it tasted like a great jobbie.

Miscellany page 1

Welcome to Scotland

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